


Foolish Hopes

by Kehwie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 08:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kehwie/pseuds/Kehwie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vala Mal Doran had always gone out of her way to avoid feeling like a fool. <br/>And she knew that hope was the most foolish thing of all. <br/>But a certain archaeologist made her hope again. When she thought he dashed those hopes, she attempted to rebuild her armor-with very little success.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Inspired by the prompt "fool" or "foolish" from the Gate Women community at Live Journal. Of course, that prompt was given in April, and it's now September, so I wasn't very prompt about following the prompt. Sorry.
> 
> As always, thank you, thank you, thank you to the fabulous AerynB. *squishes her* Any remaining errors are all me.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1 or its characters, and I make no profit.

**Foolish Hopes**

If there was one thing Vala Mal Doran hated, it was feeling like a fool. She had always gone out of her way to avoid it. She had contingency plans for almost every situation, so she was never left looking stupid. No one could con her, because she never trusted anyone anyway. It had worked for years.

But then she met up with the Tau'ri. And one Daniel Jackson had convinced her to let her guard down. It had been terrifying, but she'd thought it just might be worth it. She _believed_ him.

So basically, she deserved to be sitting here feeling utterly stupid. She had no one to blame but herself. That didn't mean she had to like it.

She'd managed to con an SF into bringing her to this hole-in-the-wall bar, and she was doing her damnedest to get herself good and drunk. She was going to take this one night to wallow and feel sorry for herself. Tomorrow she'd pick herself up and move on just as she'd always done. She'd strengthen her defenses so that she couldn't make this same stupid mistake again, and life would go on.

That was the plan anyway. Leave it to a stubborn, aggravating archaeologist to ruin it.

He plopped onto the stool next to her. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" he hissed.

Resolutely she kept her eyes focused straight ahead, refusing to look at him. "I believe it's called getting smashed, darling. Care to join me?"

Daniel rolled his eyes. "No. And I'm not going to let you do it either."

That did cause her to turn and fix him with an angry glare. "You are not my keeper, Daniel. And you do not get a say in my decisions. So just mind your own business and go back to the base. I'll be fine."

"Vala, part of my job is to keep you out of trouble. I think leaving you here to get drunk and then get home on your own definitely qualifies as trouble."

It was her turn to roll her eyes. "I'm not alone. Jeffrey is right over there." She gestured vaguely behind her.

"Ye-eah. Jeff's actually the one who called me. Said the way you were knocking back shots was making him nervous."

"Traitor," she grumbled under her breath. She gave her hair a toss. "Well, regardless, I'm an official member of SG-1 now. I'm not on probation anymore, so I don't need you catting my every step."

"It's dogging, Vala. And I'd still be held partially responsible if you cause problems here tonight."

"That's ridiculous. That wouldn't be the case if it were Teal'c sitting here, and I'm just as official as he is. And anyway, I'm not planning on causing trouble. As soon as I'm done getting drunk, I'll have Jeffrey drive me back."

Daniel sighed. "So I guess that begs the question- _why_ are you trying to get drunk?"

Vala sniffed. "I don't see how that's any of your business, frankly."

"Because I'm your friend, Vala. C'mon, talk to me. What's going on?"

Vala stared at her shot glass. "I don't care to discuss it. Just leave me alone, Daniel."

"Nothing doing." Daniel crossed his arms defiantly. "I'm going to send the good Lt. Whitson home. Then I'm gonna sit right here."

"Oh, _goody,_ " Vala muttered.

*******

If Daniel were honest with himself—and he rarely was where Vala was concerned—he half hoped that if she planned to get drunk anyway, she'd get drunk enough to tell him just _what_ was going on with her.

But Vala resolutely ignored him. She did speak to him briefly when she ran out of money, hoping he'd buy her a few more drinks. But when he refused, she went back to pretending he didn't exist and proceeded to con nearly every single male in the room into buying her booze. Even the bartender wasn't immune, sliding her a couple of drinks on the house.

Daniel rested his head in his hands briefly. He had no idea how much Vala had imbibed before he arrived, but it had to have been a lot since it had worried Jeff. And he'd lost track of what she'd consumed since he'd gotten here. She wasn't causing any trouble yet—she actually grew more and more subdued as she drank, rather than rowdier—but he was starting to panic. When was she going to _stop?_

And what the hell was wrong with her in the first place?

That was what was really bothering him. He'd seen Vala lose her daughter. He'd seen her be conned by her father. He'd seen her recover from kidnapping and amnesia. He'd seen her captured and beaten and in situations where they'd been sure they would never make it out alive. But not one of those things had caused her to sit in a bar trying to get drunk. What on earth could possibly have happened to bring this on?

Vala, who'd been over at the karaoke machine, came back and plopped on the stool beside him. "All right, you can take me back now," she said abruptly.

Daniel looked at her for a moment. "Vala, please tell me what's going on here. Maybe I could help."

Vala rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure. Don't worry, Daniel, you're off the hook. I'll be out of your hair soon enough."

"Now what's _that_ supposed to mean?" Daniel demanded.

Scowling, she stood up and headed toward the door. "Nothing. Let's go."

With a heavy sigh, Daniel followed her out of the bar. Vala didn't speak to him the entire drive. And once they arrived, she stalked back inside the mountain without a word.

 _Tomorrow,_ Daniel decided. Tomorrow he'd find out what was wrong with her.

*******

Vala had no intention of letting Daniel see her the next day. Actually, she had no intention of seeing him again at all. She planned to leave the SGC and the planet Earth entirely behind her and never look back.

But the universe conspired against her and changed her plans, and she couldn't bring herself to feel the least bit sorry about it.

It started with Teal'c showing up at her quarters, requesting "the honor of her company" at breakfast. She thought one last meal with her teammate sounded like just the thing and agreeably followed him to the commissary. While there, Bill Lee approached. He wanted her insight on a gadget that SG-12 had brought back from P2X-942. Vala couldn't find it within herself to say no and found herself spending most of the day in the scientist's office. Bill even offered to buy her dinner.

It was sitting in the greasy spoon he took her to that Vala had a revelation. She had worked damn hard to be accepted by the SGC and more specifically SG-1. She liked what she was doing, she was good at it, and she contributed something of value. Why should she let Daniel take all that from her? She was giving him more power than he deserved.

No, she wouldn't slink off like she had something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. She'd stay. She'd continue to be an asset to SG-1. She'd find some other job to do on base when they weren't off-world, just as she'd done today—something that kept her away from Daniel. That would be just as effective for rebuilding her armor, she decided.

*******

Vala entered General Landry's office first thing the next day. "I'd like new duties on base when SG-1 isn't off-world," she stated without preamble.

The general's eyebrows shot up. "Oh?" he inquired, accustomed to Vala's out-of-the-blue announcements.

"Yes," she affirmed. "I think I would be better suited somewhere else. Daniel doesn't really need my help anyway."

Landry rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Truth be told, she was right. Dr. Jackson had never really _needed_ her help; the arrangement had been more of a way to keep the former pirate out of trouble. But she'd proven herself a long time ago, and she really could be more useful elsewhere.

"All right," he answered finally. "I think we can arrange something. I know Dr. Lee enjoys working with you, and he's reported that you're very helpful. A few others in various departments have also expressed interest in bringing you on board. We may have you float for a while until we find the best permanent fit."

"That sounds good," Vala said. "I like floating."

Landry eyed her suspiciously but continued, "For today, just work with Dr. Lee. I'll give you more detailed assignments sometime in the next few days."

Vala beamed. "Perfect! Thank you, General." She hesitated, then added meekly, "I assume you'll let Daniel know?"

At this, Landry rolled his eyes. "Yes, Ms. Mal Doran, I'll inform Dr. Jackson of the change." He grumbled under his breath, "Just what I needed today."

Vala ignored the last part. "Thank you, General. I'll get started right now." She dashed off before he could respond.

"Now I wonder what that was about," Landry muttered to himself. He decided he had enough on his plate without worrying about whatever bee was currently in Vala's bonnet. Her various schemes usually worked themselves out on their own anyway. When they didn't—well, that's what Dr. Jackson was for.

So Landry fired off a quick email letting Dr. Jackson know of the change and set to work tackling the rest of the crises sitting on his desk demanding attention. He'd barely made a dent when an irate archaeologist burst through his door.

"Sir, what's this about Vala being reassigned?" Daniel demanded.

Landry rolled his eyes. "It's just what it says, Dr. Jackson. Ms. Mal Doran has been assigned to other tasks when SG-1 is not off-world. She and I agreed to the change this morning."

"Whose idea was it? Yours or hers?" Daniel asked suspiciously.

"I fail to see where that's any of your concern," Landry answered coolly. He liked Dr. Jackson well enough, but he _didn't_ like his orders being questioned.

Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose. "It was hers, wasn't it? Dammit! I _knew_ I should have pushed harder the other night!"

Landry's eyebrows rose. "Pardon me? What exactly are you talking about?"

Daniel sighed. "A couple of nights ago, Vala was all upset about something. She ended up in some bar, drinking the whole place under the table. An SF called me, and I sat with her, but I couldn't get her to tell me just _what_ was going on with her. I figured I'd try again in a couple of days. But she's been avoiding me, and now she's asking to work somewhere else?" He shook his head. "Something's up with her, General. She's got me worried."

"Hasn't she always been capable of drinking an entire bar under the table?" the general pointed out.

"Well, yes, but this was different. She was deliberately trying to get drunk, and there was a _reason_ for it. She admitted that much; I just never could get her to tell me what the reason was."

Landry looked thoughtful for a moment then shook his head. "Look, Dr. Jackson, I appreciate your concern. But the fact is, Vala is a grown woman. If she wants to drink when she's off-duty and keep her private business private, she's allowed to do so. As long as it doesn't affect her work, it's really none of our business. Her troubles usually sort themselves out anyway. I'm sure she'll be fine."

"Well, I'm not sure," Daniel huffed. "I think she's hurting, and alone, and she won't let me in. And now she's run off to some other job so that I won't have an opportunity to press her about it. Doesn't that _tell_ you how serious it must be?"

"Not really," Landry said. "Frankly, it sounds a bit egotistical of you to assume Vala wanted a new assignment solely because of you. Perhaps she had reasons of her own, Dr. Jackson."

"Yeah, okay, maybe. But, General, I'm still worried about her."

"Fine. But you're worried on a personal level. That has nothing to do with me, or with her job, or with your job. Deal with it on your own time."

Daniel sighed. "Yes, General," he muttered, turning to leave.

Landry shook his head as the archaeologist walked away. Honestly, those two. He'd probably have less trouble with both of them if they just left the land of denial where they'd been living for years and did something about their feelings for each other. Every single person on the base could see it but them.

But Landry made a point not to interfere in the private lives of those under his command. As long as Dr. Jackson and Vala continued to perform their duties in a professional manner, he wouldn't intervene in their personal lives.

Even if it _would_ probably be in their best interest to do so.

*******

Vala managed to avoid Daniel successfully for four days. But Day 5 brought a meeting about SG-1's upcoming off-world mission, and there was no way to avoid him there.

Still, she made sure she didn't arrive in the briefing room until the last possible moment, plopping into a chair just before General Landry was ready to begin. Unfortunately, her oh-so- _considerate_ team had left her normal spot next to Daniel vacant. _Thanks, guys,_ she thought irritably as she dropped into the seat.

The mission was supposedly very low-risk, so the meeting was short. Vala darted from the room as soon as the general said, "Dismissed." Soon she'd be able to banter with Daniel just like always. Right now though, she needed just a bit more time—the walls he'd smashed through over the years weren't quite rebuilt yet.

She'd get there. She _would._ She had to believe that. Because right now, she felt like an idiot, scampering all over the base to avoid him. Ironic, since it was that hated feeling of foolishness which started this whole thing. It was all such a confusing, stupid mess.

No matter. She lifted her chin proudly and sent the SF she met in the hallway a dazzling smile. Nothing like a little harmless flirting to rebuild that armor. Someone obviously found her attractive, even if one oblivious archaeologist did not. She stopped to chat for a few minutes and discovered that the young lieutenant had a delightfully wicked sense of humor. Oh, yeah, she could work with _that._

So naturally, that's still where she was, laughing so hard that tears streamed down her face, when Daniel found her. His expression was irritated; she guessed he didn't like her bolting from the meeting like that.

Vala could tell the exact moment he spotted the SF. Daniel's eyes narrowed, and his mouth tightened. He glared, no longer just irritated but full-on furious. She felt her own hackles rise. He didn't own her. He had no say about what she did, where she went, to whom she spoke.

"Having a good time?" he asked in a deceptively sweet tone. The lieutenant didn't know him and didn't catch the falseness. But Vala recognized that saccharine-laced voice. She stiffened further.

"Oh, absolutely, darling," she ground out, her own tone icy. "But don't let us keep you. Wouldn't want to make you blush."

"I think I've been around you long enough that nothing you do or say can shock me anymore," Daniel retorted.

"Hardly." Vala dropped her voice seductively and deliberately stepped into his personal space, determined that he would leave her alone. "Let's head to your quarters, and I'll prove just how _very_ full of surprises I can be." Her mouth was mere centimeters from his, her breath hot on his lips.

Daniel rolled his eyes and stepped back. "You know, I wanted to check on you, see if you were okay. I can see now that you are, so I'll just leave you to it, huh? Have fun." He stomped off.

Vala snorted. He was so easy to deceive sometimes. Usually he saw far more than she would like—saw things she wished she had never felt. She couldn't lie to him effectively about those things.

But she could always divert his attention with a little outrageous sexual advance. He'd just get angry, and it clouded his reason. He never realized just how right his assessment that she hid behind it had been. She could still fool him with it—every single time.

It was ridiculous, really, how he knew her so well and yet not at all.

*******

Daniel stormed into his office, slammed the door, and immediately slammed his fist down on the desk. He was _such_ an idiot. A damned fool, that's what he was. _Why_ did he let her get away with the same stupid tricks, over and over again?

He knew. He _knew_ that she hid behind her sexual advances. He knew that the more outrageous her flirting and come-ons, the more she had to hide. She didn't use sex as a weapon so much as a shield.

And he'd let her get away with it—again. He swore viciously.

It was just that she always made him so damn angry, so carelessly offering everything he desperately wanted. But he wanted the real Vala, not the facade, so every time she threw those meaningless offers for casual sex up in his face, he saw red.

But that anger meant that she got away with it, time and again. He needed to figure out something else—some way to control his reactions so he could learn just _what_ was going on with her. What was making her throw her sexuality in his face and get drunk in seedy bars and ask for reassignment so she didn't have to see him? What could possibly be that bad?

He wracked his brain, trying to think back over the last few weeks, trying to think if there had been any clues. Had she said anything that might provide a hint as to the problem? Had anything happened?

But he could think of nothing. Everything had been normal-normal banter, normal bicker, normal push and pull. Everything had been business as usual until the night he found her in the bar.

Daniel took a deep breath. They had a mission off-world tomorrow. Mitchell usually paired him with Vala. She couldn't work around Mitchell as easily as she could Landry. She'd be stuck with him.

He'd make her talk. He _would._

He had to.

 


	2. Chapter Two

SG-1 stepped through the gate and found themselves looking at a world as close to paradise as any of them had ever seen. The air was warm, the sun was bright, the lake was tranquil. For the first time in days, Vala shared a look with Daniel, that bright, beaming smile he loved lighting her face. Some of the knots in his stomach from the last few days eased. Maybe she was finally working through...whatever.

Mitchell was grinning too. "Well, would you look at that! I think we won the lottery this time, gang. Reward for all those crap missions over the years. Maybe we can scout around a bit, finish our jobs, and get some relaxation time in."

"Do not speak too soon, Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c said gravely. "Often worlds which appear calm at first glance pose the most danger. Perhaps we should postpone any celebratory plans until after we have scouted the perimeter."

"Yeah, yeah," Mitchell grumbled good-naturedly. "All right, Jackson, you and the big guy head thatta way. Vala, you're with me." They walked off together before Daniel had a chance to protest. The archaeologist just stood there, mouth agape as he watched them go.

He snapped his mouth closed and turned to Teal'c. "What the hell is going on here? No offense, but why's Vala paired with Mitchell all of a sudden?"

"I believe that Vala Mal Doran requested the change, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c replied, walking off in the direction Mitchell had directed them.

"Of course she did," Daniel grumbled, his worry and frustration increasing. He glanced at Teal'c. "Do _you_ know what's been going on with her lately?"

The Jaffa inclined his head slightly. He seemed to choose his words carefully. "She has not discussed anything with me."

Daniel pounced. "But you _do_ know something, don't you?"

"I am not at liberty to divulge what I do or do not know of Vala Mal Doran's emotional state, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c stated, his tone clearly indicating that this conversation was over. "I suggest we return our attention to our assigned task."

"Right," Daniel muttered. "Of course. Sorry."

They finished the preliminary scouting of the area and settled down to eat their rations. Daniel deliberately plopped himself down as close to Vala as he could manage, ignoring the look Mitchell sent his way.

Mitchell could stuff it. He was sick of this. Why'd everyone have to take Vala's side, anyway? And come to think of it, why were there even sides to take? He hadn't _done_ anything! He didn't even know what was wrong!

Vala cracked a couple of jokes during lunch, and the knot in Daniel's stomach eased a bit. They cleaned up and headed off toward the ruins they were here to explore. He'd insist on her help at the ruins, he decided. No one could argue that. She'd been assisting him frequently for a while now. It wouldn't be a stretch at all to say he needed her help today.

The markings in the ruins were an odd mix of Ancient and Goa'uld, so Daniel and Vala went to work translating while Mitchell and Teal'c stood watch.

Ordinarily Vala would have been chattering away the entire time she worked—talking about TV shows, flirting, complaining about boredom, whatever. Now she remained silent, head bent over her notebook, hair shielding her face.

Daniel decided he'd had enough. "All right, talk to me. What's up?"

He could see her stiffen. "I don't know what you mean."

"Yeah, I'm not buying that one, so don't bother. Now, come on. What's been eating you these past few days?"

For the briefest of moments, he could see an almost childlike vulnerability in her eyes. But then the moment was gone, and her eyes hardened once again to chips of cool gray ice before she lowered them. He couldn't be sure he hadn't imagined it.

He hadn't though. She _wanted_ to open up to him, he was sure of it. He just had to push harder. He cupped her chin, bringing her gaze back to his. "Vala. Please."

She glared balefully, even though her eyes were suspiciously wet. "Nothing you need to be concerned with, darling. Don't worry about it."

"But it concerns you, so it concerns me," Daniel insisted. "Vala, I care about you; you know that."

Her laugh was bitter and humorless. "Yeah. Sure you do."

That did it! "Oh, come _on!_ Why would I have fought for you and defended you when you were first trying to join SG-1 if I didn't care? Why would I have driven myself and everyone else crazy trying to find you when the Trust kidnapped you if I didn't care? Why would I try to smooth things over when you cause trouble if I didn't care? Why would I have chased you all over the damn base this past week if I didn't care? Crap, Vala, you're making even less sense than usual! What the hell's the matter with you?"

"Making less sense than usual...cute, Daniel," Vala sniffed. "Thanks for that. And no, you don't care about _me_ , not me as a person. All you care about is being Eliza Doolittle to my Henry Higgins."

Daniel felt like he'd been punched hard in the gut. Oh, hell. The reference might be scrambled, but the meaning was clear. Was that really how he'd made her feel? That she was his _project_?

He thought back to that ill-fated dinner at Il Fiore Bianco. He remembered his arrogant, condescending words that night and her flustered response. And even the recent night at the bar... he'd said something about being responsible for her, hadn't he? Had he given the impression that his responsibility was the _only_ reason he was there?

Crap.

He cupped her face again. "Vala, I'm sorry. Truly. I never meant to make you feel like you were some project I was working on, or that I was trying to mold you in my image. I wanted to help you, yes. I wanted you to know that you could be _more_. But I swear I wasn't trying to make you into some completely new person. Honestly, the person you already are is pretty great. You're a good team member and a good friend."

Her eyes flickered. She started to say something, but she didn't seem quite able to get the words out. He hugged her hard, then eased away a bit. "Now. _Please_. Talk to me. I've been worried sick about you since that night in the bar."

There was a long pause, so long that he thought at first she wouldn't answer. Then she mumbled, "It really doesn't matter, Daniel. Perhaps I heard wrong or misunderstood. Don't worry about it."

He laughed shortly. "Too late for that. Just spill it, okay?"

She sighed. "All right, fine. I heard you speaking with the village elders on P3X-710. I heard you tell them what you really thought of me."

Daniel sucked in a breath. Of all the things he'd thought she might say, _that_ had certainly never entered his mind! His careless words, words he'd never thought twice about and certainly never imagined her hearing—that was the cause of her avoidance patterns all week? The cause of her drinking herself into oblivion that night at the bar? _He_ 'd done that to her?

The thought made him physically ill. He tightened his arms around her and closed his eyes briefly to regain control, thinking back to that stupid mission.

_P3X-710 was a hotbed of Lucian Alliance activity. Yet tucked away on the planet was a quaint village—a village rooted in tradition and deeply held beliefs and ideals. The Alliance tended to ignore it, conducting business in the larger cities._

_Or at least they had ignored it until they realized the large amount of native kassa growing nearby._

_The village had found many uses for the plant—clothing, medicines, and so forth. At first, they hadn't minded selling some to the Alliance members who came calling. But as the Alliance took more and more, for less and less money, the villagers grew alarmed. They reached out for help._

_So here the SGC had sent a few teams, and even the_ Hammond _, to work_ _out_ _some sort of strategy and defense for the village. But while they were there, they had to follow the people's customs and protocols._

_Vala had been less than pleased._

_The elders insisted that as a single woman, Vala was absolutely forbidden to stay alone. They would provide lodging for everyone, but Vala must have a chaperone. They would prefer if the chaperone were a family member of some sort._

_Mitchell offered to pose as Vala's brother. Daniel pointed out how ludicrous that sounded, given their different accents and speech patterns. Mitchell rolled his eyes. "I'll say she was adopted—it's not far from the truth these days. Or she could be my cousin or something."_

_In the end, though, the villagers noted the way Daniel seemed to be "in charge" of Vala and assumed he was her appointed authority figure. They placed the two of them together._

_It was only a matter of days before Vala's trademark boredom set in._

_To be fair, there really wasn't much for her to do—the villagers wouldn't let her. Sam argued hotly every time the_ Hammond _was in communication, telling Daniel he was repeating old mistakes, but he insisted that they just go along with it for a while longer. They were so close to a decisive victory against the Alliance._

_He really should have listened to Sam, he mused later._

_One night Vala's boredom reached crisis levels. He arrived in their room to find Vala sprawled on a bed in her underwear. She smiled when she saw him, standing and stretching provocatively before sauntering over to him. She pressed up against him, and he felt his mouth go dry._

_Of course he didn't give in. And of course she pouted and sulked, but things were back to normal by breakfast. Or so he thought._

_But one of the elders approached him later that morning. "We need to have a meeting, Dr. Jackson," the elder said somberly. "Just you and us."_

_So he'd gone with them, and they expressed their concern that perhaps it wasn't appropriate for him to be Vala's chaperone after all. "We do not want any impropriety, Dr. Jackson. We are no longer certain that Miss Mal Doran's virtue is safe with you."_

_Daniel couldn't hold back a snort, but he did stop himself from retorting that Vala didn't have any virtue left to protect. "You don't need to worry. There is nothing between Vala and me. There will never_ be _anything between Vala and me. She isn't the sort of woman you have a real relationship with—in fact, she's the last woman on Earth I'd ever think seriously about. And I'm not interested in anything casual. So nothing will happen there, I assure you. I'm supposed to look after her and keep her out of trouble, but that's where it ends. That's where it will always end."_

_And the elders had been pacified, and Daniel never gave it another thought._

_Apparently Vala had though._

He tilted her chin up again, wanting to look into her eyes. "Vala, I'm sorry. Really. I never meant for you to think that _all_ I cared about was you towing the line. I didn't mean to imply that we weren't friends or that I only saw you as a baby-sitting job. I got a little overzealous trying to put the elders' minds at ease, I suppose. But I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

And Vala drew herself up stiffly and smiled an all-too-familiar smile. The smile he knew was fake and meant to deceive. The smile that worked on almost everyone and had worked on him for longer than he cared to admit. "Well, then. All forgiven. Thank you for explaining." She turned to move back to her translation work.

Daniel grabbed her arm. Clearly there was more to this. What was he missing?

He thought back over his speech to the elders again, examining every word. His mouth fell open in surprise. "The bit about real relationships and serious feelings? _That's_ what's bothering you?" he almost squeaked.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not," she scoffed. "Like I'm interested in any sort of real relationship. Please." She waved a dismissive hand and again tried to move away.

And again he refused to let her go. He studied her face, trying to see past the mask she wore so well. "Vala. _Why_ did those words bother you so much?"

"They didn't, Daniel. I just said that."

"Yes, you did, but I don't believe you."

"Well, that's hardly my problem!" she exclaimed in exasperation. "Honestly, why would the fact that I'm the 'last woman on Earth' you'd ever think seriously about bother me? I don't think seriously about me either. No big deal."

Realization dawned. "No, that's exactly why it's a big deal. You don't really believe in yourself, don't believe that you can be more than what you've always been; you count on me to do that. And in that conversation, I indicated that I didn't."

"Stop trying to psycho me!" Vala burst out.

Daniel couldn't hold back a small laugh. "I think you mean psychoanalyze, although you are a little psycho sometimes."

"Whatever," Vala dismissed. This time she succeeded in heading back to her notebook.

Daniel returned to his own notebook, but he continued to study her out of the corner of his eye. Something was still off with her, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

They worked in silence for another long stretch. Daniel could only keep half his attention on his task though. He kept turning everything over in his mind, trying to figure out what he was missing. " _There is nothing between Vala and me. There will never_ be _anything between Vala and me. She isn't the sort of woman you have a real relationship with—in fact, she's the last woman on Earth..."_ Could it be…

Something stirred within him, something he'd kept buried so long he was sure it should have been dead by now. He thought it might be hope.

He looked up at Vala. Hope. It was such a fragile thing; he knew that all too well. He'd given up hoping for anything serious with Vala about the time he woke up in the infirmary with a kor mak bracelet stuck to his wrist. He'd stamped down his feelings and placed her firmly in the "never gonna happen" category. He'd watched her grow up a great deal as they fought Adria and the Ori. But he'd never allowed himself to hope.

And her bored come-on in the village had just reinforced in his mind all the reasons why he shouldn't hope, why he shouldn't ever take her seriously. So he'd been extra emphatic with the elders—he'd been reminding _himself._

But had she been hoping all this time too? Had she thought she could somehow earn his affection by being a good little Eliza to his Professor Higgins? Had he crushed _her_ hope with his words?

Hell, they were both screwed up.

Maybe that was why they were perfect together.

"Vala." He touched her arm.

She looked up with a scowl. "Yes, Daniel?"

He sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. But then, nothing with her ever was. "You know, I may have thought you were the last woman on Earth I _should_ have feelings for-"

"Yes, we've been over this," she said tartly. "I got it already."

"I wasn't finished," he chided. "You may be the last woman I should have feelings for, but I'm not always great at doing what I'm supposed to. Just ask Jack."

She eyed him suspiciously. "Oh?"

"Yeah." He expelled a noisy breath. "Look, I'll be honest. I've had feelings for you probably since the beginning. I just didn't see any point to them. So I stuffed them and denied them and pretended they never existed in the first place. I almost convinced myself. And I guess I convinced you too."

Her expression softened. "Yeah, I guess you did." She hesitated, then plunged ahead. "I never wanted serious feelings for anybody. Feelings are dangerous. They make you do stupid things. They make you _hope_. I learned a long time ago how pointless hope was." She shook her head. "Somehow you've always managed to make me hope again. Hope that I could be a part of something, hope that I could make a difference." Her voice dropped. "Hope that I might be enough for someone."

Daniel slid a hand over her cheek, finally understanding the oblivion Vala had craved in the bar that night. He had craved that same escape when his hopes of saving Sha're had finally been crushed. "You are enough, Vala. I am all in favor of trying to be more, do more, better oneself. But you _are_ enough." He drew a deep breath then decided to go for broke. "You're everything I've ever wanted," he whispered huskily.

Vala's whole face lit up. And Daniel was a goner. They lunged for each other at almost the same moment, lips crashing together in heated abandon.

"Holy hell!" Mitchell's exclamation caused them to break apart a few minutes, panting. "When you two make up, you do it right!"

Daniel could feel himself turning red, but Vala only laughed. "Well, of course, dear Cameron. Why else bother with fighting?"

Mitchell chuckled. "Can't argue with that logic," he conceded.

"It would indeed be wise not to argue, Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c said. "Or you might find yourself needing to make amends with Vala Mal Doran. I do not believe this would please Daniel Jackson."

Daniel snorted with laughter. "No, I can't say that would please me too much. Better agree with everything Vala says from now on, Mitchell."

Mitchell stared at Teal'c in disbelief for a moment then rolled his eyes. "Okay, this planet may look like paradise, but clearly it's got something funky going on. You two are making out on duty, and the big guy's crackin' jokes."

"I don't know, that still sounds like paradise to me," Vala said. "What's the problem exactly?"

Mitchell held up his hands in mock surrender. "No problem. It's just _weird_." [

"I like weird," Vala said. She shot Daniel a sly grin. "Think that explains why I like you so much, darling?"

Daniel rolled his eyes but couldn't hold back his own answering grin. "Yeah, it might. Of course, I've always liked strange alien artifacts, so..."

Giggling, Vala smacked his arm. He shoved her lightly in return.

Mitchell huffed in annoyance. "Look, you two lovebirds, are we about done here? I'm feeling the urge to take you home and lock you in a room somewhere until you get this outta your system."

"Excellent idea," Vala agreed. "That should only take a few years, don't you think, Daniel?"

"More like decades," Daniel said. "Give it fifty years or so—we might be wearing down by then."

"I disagree, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, an odd light in his eyes. "I believe that in fifty years, the two of you will just be getting started."

END


End file.
